The Heart of a Naughty List Champ
by Scrunchy
Summary: Hiruma is always on the top of the Naughty List, Mamori is likewise at the top of the Nice List. Hiruma is always alone on Christmas, Mamori has her loving mother. HiruMamo. Christmas Fic.


**Merry Christmas! WARNING: Possible OOCness and fluff... oh, and it's AU-ish. (Now editted and awesomified!)**

**Disclaimer: Riichiro Inagaki and Yusuke Murata (I love these two, don't you?! Hiruma's ALIVE!!!! -still fangirling over ch 263 of ES21-)**

* * *

"Fucking coal... again." A young boy muttered as he looked inside his red stocking, studying the contrast of the black and red. "I was better than last year though!" He said angrily, throwing the stocking into the flames and watching the red felt smoke before it burst into flames. "I'll show him bad... and I won't even fucking get coal for doing it either." He stormed out of the living room and into his own room, slamming the door loudly before sitting at his laptop and proceeding to commit what may be one of the most heinous crimes ever recorded in history. His young mind was full of information no child his age should know, nor any normal child would care to. He wore his hair blonde and spiked and his eyes pieced through anything he looked at with his sharp green-grey gaze. His ears were pierced with four hoops, usually silver and two on each side. He was very pointy. His chin and jaw barely had the perception of the child-like roundness that they should have and his ears came to a graceful point at the top. He could have passed for one of Santa's elves, in short.

As he started searching for Santa's mainframe by way of his e-mail address, the stocking below was just finally being completely consumed. The rather largely stitched Santa was the last to catch flame, in his white as snow beard was the delicate sticking of a name: Hiruma Yoichi, this too soon burned.

* * *

"Yay! It's just what I wanted!" A girl, equally as young as our first specimen squealed and jumped with joy at the site of the pink and blue bike with streamers and a bell on the handle.

"Of course you did, dear." Her mother gathered her on her lap and brushed the reddish brown hair out of her daughter's bright blue eyes. "You are the most well behaved daughter anyone could have asked for." The girl grinned widely and her mother kissed her forehead lovingly. "Oh! Do you know what I'm in the mood for?" She asked, the girl jumped off her lap and twirled around happily.

"Cocoa!" She smiled and ran off into the kitchen. Her mother smiled and stood, walking after her, already hearing the sounds of preparation from the kitchen.

The blue words on the side of the bike shone brightly in the light of the fire: Anezaki Mamori.

* * *

Santa sat down heavily in his chair the next year. He stared at his reflection in the blank black screen of the large TV in front of him and he sighed while muttering something about being 'too old for this job' before flicking it on and being confronted with two lists. A small picture of a little girl's face with big, bright blue eyes smiled at him from the top of the _Good List_ and from the top of the _Bad List_ a blonde boy with four piercings and sharp green-grey eyes scowled while he flipped off the camera.

Santa shook his head. Anezaki Mamori and Hiruma Yoichi. The two had been the heads of their respective lists since they had been born and he expected it to remain that way when he spoke the word, "update!" which automatically updated his lists electronically. He choked on the cookie that he had just bitten into when he saw his lists. They had completely _switched_ and he was stuck staring at a smiling girl on the _Bad List_ to his right and a young boy flipping him off to his left on the _Good List_.

"There must be some mistake!" He cried, jumping up and hobbling into the control closet in the side of the room. "Dobby!" He looked around for the elf and soon found him napping in his chair. "DOBBY!" He boomed and the elf sat up immediately.

"Sir?!" He squeaked, jumping to his feet and saluting smartly.

"What is the meaning of this?" Santa pointed to the lists on his screen. The elf's eyes grew wide as saucers as he looked at the lists. "It _must_ be a malfunction. Fix it, quickl- why are you shaking your head?" Santa watched the elf who was waging his head from side to side.

"Dobby's equipment does not malfunction, sir." He said, looking up at Santa. "It works perfect every time, it does." He stared at the lists again.

"Check it anyway, Dobby." Santa said, his brow furrowing as he stared at the scowling boy at the prized spot of his _Good List_. "I have a feeling that a rat has been scurrying through our system."

"Sir... yes, sir." Dobby saluted and scuttled back to his closet.

"Hiruma Yoichi... what have you done to Christmas...?" Santa asked the picture, breaking the silence that the room had lapsed to and walking out to go to bed and see if he might wake up from this nightmare the next morning.

* * *

**.::Christmas Day::.**

"YA-HA!" Hiruma slid to a stop before his tree and his eyes shone with glee at the pile of presents that was there. He grinned his sharp-toothed grin and tore into the pile with the gusto of a starving dog into meat.

* * *

Mamori looked in her stocking and gasped loudly.

"What is it dear?" Her mother came behind her and looked inside the stocking. "Oh... baby, what did you do?" She gasped when she saw the black lumps of cold, hard coal in the bottom of the stocking.

"I- I didn't do nothing." Mamori said softly and curled her knees to her chest. "I've been good all... all year." She promised and looking up at her mom, on the verge of tears.

"I'm sure you have, dear." She knelt and hugged Mamori tightly. "Why don't you got outside and play?" She asked with a bright smile. "I'll have some cocoa ready for you when you come back in." Mamori smiled sadly at her mother and nodded before running off to get her outside gear.

* * *

"Hehehe... that has to be the _best_ Christmas ever!" Hiruma chuckled as he walked down the sidewalk in his new shoes. He blew a bubble of gum and it popped loudly. He worked the cold gum back to softness and prepared to blow another bubble when he heard a sniffling sound. "The fuck's your problem, damn goody-goody?" Hiruma sneered when he spotted Mamori in the park.

"Santa hates me... and I didn't do anything." She sniffled pitifully.

Hiruma's hand played with the tickets in his pocket. They were for the ice rink that was held every year in the park when the lake was frozen over.

"... che, of course he does." Hiruma said in an all-knowing voice. She looked up at him.

"Why?!"

"Because you're _so damn good_." Hiruma spat and his eyes narrowed. She looked down.

"Please don't use that kind of language around me, Hiruma-san..." she sniffed and lowered her forehead back to her knees.

"Che, why are you crying anyway? It's just some dumb holiday where some fat guy destined for diabetes gives out presents by breaking and entering into houses." Hiruma scoffed, kicking the snow beneath him.

Was he feeling guilt at switching the lists? Not a chance.

Why was he trying to comfort her? He wasn't. She was just a girl in his class who was _always_ good.

"Because... I've always been good and... well... maybe it's just a disappointment to see coal in my stocking after all the years of being so happy to see the presents under the tree." Mamori shrugged and hugged her knees tighter to her.

Hiruma was silently peering down at her and he stroked the tickets in his pocket once before grabbing her hand and slapping one of them in her hand. "Merry fucking Christmas, damn goody-goody." Hiruma said, his mind reeled slightly at his abrupt and strangely out of character decision. Mamori looked startled and she studied the ticket slowly.

"Wha-" but Hiruma was already pulling her along after him and she started jogging to catch up to his pace.

"It's to the fucking ice rink in the park." Hiruma stated, looking back at her. "Know how to skate?" She shook her head numbly and he grinned, enjoying the thought of her falling on the ice- he would be there to help her of course, so it wasn't completely the thought of a sadist.

"Hi-Hiruma-kun..." she said shyly, seeing if he would spaz at her for the new honorific. No such thing happened so she continued, "are you sure that you want to give me this?" She asked curiously. One of his ears twitched and he glanced at her, her face had small tracks beneath her eyes where tears had run. He nodded slowly with a grunt before looking back at where they were going. Mamori smiled widely and hop-skipped to go a bit faster and happily hugged him from behind, only remembering who he was when he stiffened and looked around at her strangely but not with as much anger as he wanted nor as much as she expected. "You're positively sure, right? I really don't want to intru-"

"Yeah..." Hiruma cut her off and coughed, removing her arms from around him. "I'm fucking sure..."

"Okay..." she smiled and grabbed his hand, pulling him forward toward the park. Hiruma jogged after her, chuckling at her excitement.

Every time Mamori fell (lots) Hiruma was there to laugh at her and help her up. She finally got her balance alright and she laughed, looking around to see if Hiruma was watching when she felt a snowball pelt her in the back of the head, she looked around to see Hiruma grinning at her and give her a thumbs up. She smiled and skated over to him, losing her balance and falling forward when she tried to stop in front of him.

Mini-Devil Bats circled their vision, Hiruma's head had knocked into the ice under him and Mamori's head had hit his when Hiruma's head rebounded off the ice. Both groaned and one of the workers skated over, sliding to a stop next to them and crouching expertly on her skates.

"You two okay?" She asked, helping a dazed Mamori off of Hiruma and then watching Hiruma roll to his knees then used one knee to get up. His eyes cleared and he shook his head to rid himself of the confusing fog that blanketed his mind.

"Oh, I'm sooo sorry, Hiruma-kun!" Mamori said, after assuring the worker that they were fine. He looked at her and blinked slowly.

"Eh... no harm, no foul." He rubbed the back of his head gingerly. She had a red spot on her forehead and no doubt he did as well from when they had bonked heads. He winced when he found a nice bump on the back of his head.

"Hiruma-kun..." Hiruma looked up at her questioningly. "You _are_ okay, right?" She asked, worriedly. Hiruma brought his hand down from behind his head.

"Of course I'm fucking alright!" Hiruma scowled at her. "You think I'm some little fucking girl?" He scoffed and crossed his arms cockily. Mamori smiled and grabbed his hand, awkwardly skating for the exit.

"I want you to come to my house for cocoa." She demanded pleadingly.

"Che, I got better things to do, damn goody-goody." Hiruma sneered and pulled his hand back.

"Please...?" Mamori asked.

"... not for long." Hiruma finally said after a long moment's pause. Mamori smiled widely and they skated side by side back to the exit and turned in their skates.

"Mamori Anezaki! I've been worried si- oh! You have a new friend?" Mamori's mother smiled at Hiruma after giving him a once over.

"Yeah, he taught me how to skate!"

"Where'd you get the ticket?" Mamori's mom asked suspiciously.

"I got them from Santa for Christmas, ma'am. Mamori-chan looked really sad and I wanted to cheer her up." Hiruma lied fluently as he removed his scarf and coat.

"Oh, such a polite young man..." Mamori's mother said pleasantly as she rushed to the kitchen to prepare another cup of cocoa.

"You can be _nice_?" Mamori asked in an undertone as she hung up her jacket.

"Only when I fucking feel like it." Hiruma conceded with a frown as he headed for the kitchen with Mamori behind him.

* * *

It was the best Christmas Hiruma and Mamori had ever had and as soon as he got home, the lists mysteriously changed back to normal and Santa promptly had a heart attack. Dobby was unrightfully fired and sent to the workhouses to build toys from then on. And the next Christmas, even though Hiruma was still the head of the _Bad List_, he was scheduled for a present. However odd it was, Santa complied with his list and placed the gift under Hiruma's tree before making the rest of his rounds about Japan.

What was in the present you ask? A light brown mutt so that Hiruma would never be lonely on Christmas Day again.


End file.
